A new path...

Oh my how time flies!

When I started this blog it was with the intention of keeping track of my journey in weight loss and my movement toward health and fitness.

In January when I started all of this, I took a before picture of myself. It is not a pretty picture but depicts honestly where I was at the time.

Interestingly enough I just looked at that picture and realized that although subtle, my body has changed. I have firmed up some and lost some inches. Nice!

Today marks a new path on my journey.

I begin with a holistic nutritionist and life coach.

In all that I have done, I have come to a great realization and that is that my outsides will not change unless I nourish and love my insides into a new way of thinking and being.

So much of my issues around my body are controlled by my internal thoughts and recently I have noticed an old behavior which I do not like very much and that is that any opportunity I get I mention my perceived unattractiveness. It is an inner and outer thing.

My boyfriend Dan made a very astute observation the other day. He told me that in my life if I am faced with an obstacle I visualize something different and make that happen or I put a positive spin on it but I always shift into a place of acceptance and forward positive movement...except with my body.

He's right.

We all know someone who is constantly saying "Do I look fat in this?" Look at the size of my butt!" etc. Although I empathize with that type of person, I grow weary of hearing their diatribe and self loathing.

Guess what? I'm that person.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I believe that I will get fit, lose weight, be a perfect size 6 or 8 and then I'll magically be done! Poof, I'm perfect, I can now eat a bag of chips!

Aaaarggh! It's not true! It's just not true!

And so another layer of the onion is peeled back and I get the gift of moving forward in my journey of healing.

Just for today I am going to love myself and nurture that part of me that feels so lost and wounded.

Today, I choose to post that before picture of me because it is apart of my journey and I must love those parts of me that I find so unloveable.

I hope to keep up on my posts and I hope that this helps someone else who is struggling inside with their outsides!

Here goes...wheeee!