A Mind is a terrible thing to waste!

You know, I marvel at the crap that my mind throws at me some days. Big old curve balls that seemingly come out of nowhere.

My goal here is to get healthy, lose weight and hopefully have enough strength and endurance to some day do jumping jacks for at least 1 minute consecutively! Did you think I was going to say run a marathon? Hell no, I just want to master the art of jumping rope with out smacking myself to death with the darn thing AND maybe, just maybe skip around the track 1 whole time.

I know, I know, they're lofty aspirations but good Lord the desire is there.

OK, back to my twisted little brain for a moment...

Before starting this program I had stopped exercising almost completely. In other words I was walking MAYBE 2 times a month. In the "Win to Lose" program I joined, I am doing 2 very sweaty and challenging bootcamps a week as well as 2 extra cardio workout and 1 weight training work out.

Now let me just say that at a minimum I'm getting in 4 workouts a week. That's fantastic and yet because I didn't get the 5th workout in the little voice in my head is literally chanting "This is never going to happen!" "You'll never get to your goal weight" etc. etc. Ugh, it's exhausting!

Now here's the truth. I can't help but lose weight and get in shape with the amount of working out that I'm doing. It's impossible not to!

So here's a little message for my brain..."I love you and you're wrong!" "Not only is this going to happen, it's HAPPENING!" YESSSSSSSSSSSS! I am a force to be reckoned with baby! I am an amazing manifester. I can create anything in my life and right now I choose to create a beautiful and healthy Linda.

It's no secret that I want my boyfriend to see me as beautiful, with a beautiful bod and more importantly be really proud of me and my accomplishments. But more importantly, I want to feel those things for myself as well.

I have carried around certain sayings, here's one I try to live by:

"You become esteemable when you commit esteemable acts"

This encapsulates what I am DOING for myself right now. I am loving myself into a new way of being! I am growing mentally, emoitionally and spiritually into me, the authentic me that has been there all the time but whom I've been too fearful of allowing out of the shadows.

Hush my little brain.

Welcome Home Linda!

The big weigh in!

OK, so I'm off to work in a few minutes but today is a noteworthy day because it was the first official weigh in for my "Lose to Win" program.

My trainer suggested that I weigh in last week just to see where I'm at and buck nekked I had lost 3.8 pounds. Fully clothes today I had "offically" lost 4 lbs. but I do prefer the naked in the morning weigh in which is now a whopping 5.2 lbs.!

WooHoo!

Listen I had a girlfriend in over the weekend and although we ate vegetarian, we had vegetarian chocolate cake and enough trial mix to choke on, so the fact that I lost anything is a coupe for me.

And interestingly enough, my drive to be able to skip around the track and jumprope like a pro are much greater than my desire for big number weight loss. There is a balance here and I'm sure it will all find it's place but for right now, I am proud of my accomplishments.

OK, maybe not the jumproping or jumping jacks but that is a yet for me.

Who knew when I started this that I'd actually be considering buyin a jump rope so I could practice my skills!?

Huh!

Wonders never cease.

Watch out world, I'm on a roll.

Cleaning House

Life is busy. This has been my excuse for many things. Why the house is a mess, why I'm habitually late and why my body has fallen in to its state of disrepair.

I am not proud of this nor is it a character defect I advertise BUT most people who know me, already know my sick little secret. I'm busy!

The blanket "busy" keeps me from being in contact with the people I love because by the end of my day I'm just too tired to make an effort. Ouch.

The thing with making the choice to move into a new space physically, emotionally and spiritually is that your character defects (or to put it a gentler way) the things you do that used to work but don't anymore, are flashing like a neon sign all day and all night long in front of my face. I may try to close my eyes and shut it off but neon is very bright. It will not be ignored.

So the only choice for me really, is to move forward...to grow. There's a 4 letter word!

I begin to notice that there are things that have thus far occupied an enormous space in my life that simply must go now. Clutter. Not just the physical clutter but the clutter in my busy little brain.

You may be asking what any of this has to do with weight loss and getting fit? My answer to you is everything.

I was told once that to make a life change it requires us to take drastic measures and change our play friends, play ground and play things. Harsh but true.

I can no longer afford a cluttered mind or messy home because that creates LACK in me. And if I was truly, truly honest with you i would admit to having a rich, full, abundant and beautiful life. Therefor LACK is completely contrary to how I live and what I am achieving.

LACK is a nasty little varmint that picks at my wounds and confirms every ill thought I have of myself and after not only sinking to those depths but residing there for a very long time, what is left but to open a bag of chips and cry in my proverbial beer?

There is a saying that goes like this:

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk that it took to blossom"

Just for today I choose to be mindful of who I really am and not get caught up in the layer that currently covers me.

Just for today, I remember all the blessings in my life.

"This little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine"